


Fuck Fate

by Your_Friendly_Neighborhood_Pigeon



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Animal Death, Cat, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, YouTube
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-07
Updated: 2016-11-07
Packaged: 2018-08-29 13:49:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,443
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8492185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Your_Friendly_Neighborhood_Pigeon/pseuds/Your_Friendly_Neighborhood_Pigeon
Summary: “I hate him,” he whispers.
He isn't sure who he’s talking about. Iwaizumi? Matsukawa?
Or himself, for not being Matsukawa?





	

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is a thank you fic to my followers on Tumblr. I reached 1k, so I wanted to do something to celebrate, so I set up two polls and the results were Matsuhanaiwoi with a youtube + soulmate au...and this happened. So, anyways, thank you to all my followers on Tumblr for following me! It means a lot<3
> 
> Also, thank you Rose, Safyre, and Zorra for reading this over and editing it!

Hanamaki grits his teeth, angrily smashing his fingers down on the keyboard. The tears immediately threaten to fall  and he violently bites his bottom lip with a little too much force. He tastes the gross coppery tang of blood and wrinkles his nose in distaste. 

 

He hates feeling like this. 

 

Sighing, he uncurls his hands and lays them flat against the keys. A mumbled apology to the instrument slips passed his lips and he gently assures it that he's not mad at it. 

 

“You remember Hajime?” he asks the black and white keys, eyes swimming with tears. “He found that Matsukawa Issei person. I should've known he would.” He goes quiet for a moment, gently pressing down on a random key. “I miss him,” he whispers, a tear sliding down his cheek and landing on one of the white keys. 

 

Hunching over the instrument, he screws his eyes shut and tries to forget all the times he serenaded Iwaizumi. All the times they'd sit side-by-side and do a video together, all the times they'd sit and do nothing, or everything, or  _ anything.  _

 

“I hate him,” he whispers. 

 

He isn't sure who he’s talking about. Iwaizumi? Matsukawa? 

 

Or himself, for not being Matsukawa? 

 

* * *

 

“Hey, guys,” Hanamaki smiles, though it doesn't reach his eyes. Anyone watching the video can tell he isn't doing too well and no one knows why he hasn't posted anything in two weeks when he always posts biweekly. “Sorry I've been gone for so long, especially without any warning. I want to apologize and thank you all for the kind messages...” He hesitates, leaning back in his chair. His eyes stray away from the camera, studying something off screen. What they can't see is a photo of him and Iwaizumi on their two year anniversary. “...I haven't been doing too well and I suppose you'll all want to know why. You’d all find out soon enough though, since he’s already posted some photos of…” He trails off, taking a deep breath. “Anyways, yes, Haj- Iwaizumi and I aren't together anymore.” 

 

He forces on a wide smile, looking right in the camera. “He found his soulmate, finally, and I'm happy for him.” 

 

He quickly changes the subject, pulling up a book he had distracted himself with these past two weeks. He winks towards the camera, telling his subscribers to sit down because this book is a ‘wild ride’ and ‘definitely worth the read.’ 

 

Iwaizumi doesn't listen to the rambling; instead, he studies the stiff movements Hanamaki uses as he talks about the book. He closes the video halfway through, pulling up Twitter. It's already blowing up, demanding answers. Some of them are polite, but some who are loyal subscribers to Hanamaki aren't too nice.

 

“So, the cat's out of the bag,” Matsukawa says, settling down next to Iwaizumi. He opens an  arm as an invitation and Iwaizumi smiles softly, taking it and leaning into his touch. Matsukawa instantly pulls Iwaizumi close, placing a kiss to the side of his head. “Hana will be okay and so will you.”

 

Iwaizumi hums in response, inhaling Matsukawa’s scent. 

 

He was with Hanamaki for two and a half years. He had found Matsukawa six months ago. He had finally left Hanamaki two weeks ago, having fallen for the tall man with the curly black hair and the unusually bushy eyebrows. 

 

It only makes sense. It's been set in stone since he turned sixteen. Matsukawa’s name is written neatly on his shoulder blade; his own name resting on Matsukawa’s hip. 

 

Matsukawa is his soulmate; Hanamaki is not. It's simple, really. 

 

* * *

 

Hanamaki drums his fingers against his desk. A soft meow has him looking down, finding a ball of ginger fluff rubbing against him, loud purrs rumbling through its throat. He leans down, grunting as he pulls the huge Maine Coon into his lap. She purrs some more, rubbing her head against his chin. 

 

“Hey, Pumpkin,” he mumbles, gently running a hand through her thick and fluffy fur. He stares at the computer, frowning at the many messages he has on Tumblr. He quickly moves away from them and decides to scroll through his dash.

 

There are many new gifs from his new video, but also many new text posts. He cringes as he sees the many hate messages towards Iwaizumi. He didn't mean for  _ that _ to happen. 

 

Sighing, he pats Pumpkin’s head and moves to grab his phone. 

 

_ Hiro  _

_ >>Hey, iwa, I'm sorry  _

 

He stares at the screen, waiting anxiously. He needs to make this right, or at least make sure he's okay. 

 

_ Hajime  _

_ >>Its fine, they would've figured out sooner or later  _

 

_ Hajime _

_ >> ...we’re still friends, right?  _

 

Hanamaki hesitates, looking down at Pumpkin. She mews again, wide caramel eyes staring back up at him. 

 

_ Hiro _

_ >>Of course  _

 

He bites his lip, quickly sending a couple more. 

 

_ Hiro _

_ >>do you want to come over and shoot another video with me _

 

_ Hiro _

>> _ Matsukawa can come  _

 

_ Hajime _

_ >>sure, why not _

 

* * *

 

Hanamaki smiles as he sets up his camera, quickly hitting record. He waves to the camera, and then looks off screen to motion for Iwaizumi and Matsukawa to come over. 

 

“So,” he clears his throat, “I'm here to say that Iwaizumi and I are still friends, and even Matsukawa and I are friends. So, I'm going to request that you  _ please  _ stop sending them both hate. They've done nothing wrong, and they don't deserve it.” He pauses to shuffle around the room, lifting Pumpkin into his arms. 

 

“Anyways, today--” he cuts himself off, giving the huge cat to Matsukawa “--we’re going to be playing dress up.”

 

On cue, Iwaizumi holds up a hand full of cat costumes. 

 

* * *

 

Hanamaki holds his breath. It's been two months and he should be over this. But he  _ isn't _ . 

 

The picture is of Matsukawa and Iwaizumi. They're holding hands and Iwaizumi is wearing Matsukawa’s jacket. Hanamaki feels his heart drop when he sees the wide, adoring smile stitched on Iwaizumi’s face. Even if the person taking the photo was mostly focusing on Matsukawa, they still got Iwaizumi in the frame.

 

He closes his eyes and takes a shuddering breath. He looks so happy yet he can't help but feel jealous because it isn't  _ him  _ who is making Iwaizumi happy. 

 

He glances at the caption, Matsukawa giving credits to some Oikawa person. The name sounds familiar, but he doesn't have the energy to figure out where he’s heard it before. 

 

Turning his phone off, he angrily throws it onto his bed. Pumpkin makes a noise of surprise as it lands next to her, and she raises her head to glare at him. 

 

“Sorry, sorry, I just--” His voice breaks and he groans. Placing the palms of his hands against his eyes, he rubs violently to keep the tears away. When he removes his hands, black dots surround his vision. He quickly blinks them away, grinding his teeth together. 

 

He needs a distraction desperately. 

 

Plopping down on his desk chair, he spins around a couple times. He then goes straight to his laptop, pulling up Twitter, announcing that he’ll be doing a livestream to answer some questions in an hour. He isn't surprised when he immediately gets replies, some people going as far to send him multiple exclamation points. 

 

Good, that means that there'll be plenty of people and  _ plenty  _ of questions. It should keep him busy for awhile. While he waits for the time to come around, he gets up and walks to the kitchen. He pulls out cat food, shaking it. It's almost comical how fast Pumpkin rushes in, practically screaming at him for the food. 

 

He sets the bowl on the counter, gently petting her as she eats. He's not sure how he would've survived if he didn't have Pumpkin. She's the only reason he hasn't completely broken yet, and he wouldn't be faring very well if she wasn't around. She keeps him on his toes, even goes as far to drop a shirt on him when he sleeps in. She's his best friend. 

 

Which sounds kind of sad, but he doesn't care. 

 

He washes his hands and pulls out some cold pizza. He goes to eat it, but freezes as he realizes that it's Iwaizumi’s favorite. Closer inspection shows that the box is completely full, and he hasn't eaten a slice. He must've ordered this a couple days ago and ordered Iwaizumi’s favorite on instinct and he probably had this same reaction when he noticed-- 

 

Sighing, he bites into the pizza anyway. He mentally puts a check mark on his  _ ‘I swear I'm getting better’ _ list. Because, honestly, he wasn't even able to walk by Iwaizumi’s favorite pizza place for the first month. 

 

Shoving the rest of the box back into the refrigerator so that he can have this same experience some other time, he scoops Pumpkin into his arms and retreats back to his bedroom. 

 

He sets her in his lap as he sits down, pulling up the website. He quickly posts a link on his Twitter and Tumblr, patiently waiting for people to stroll in. It doesn't take long for a good amount of people to join the room, instantly commenting on Pumpkin. 

 

He looks down at her and pats her head. “If only you knew how famous you were,” he sighs, shaking his head in mock sadness. Pumpkin simply meows, looking at the laptop with curiosity. 

 

He begins to answer questions after that. He easily answers the first one, his favorite food. So easy. “Cream puffs,” he says, and he knows most of them know that. But nonetheless, he goes on a three minute rant on how perfect the pastry is until he composes himself and looks at the chatroom. 

 

He places his hands over Pumpkin’s ears and whispers, “My favorite animals are monkeys.” 

 

Pumpkin mews in confusion, and he simply scratches her chin. He answers more easy questions, smiling and joking the whole time. His subscribers are nice, and they're fun to talk to. 

 

But then, one random user asks a question that he has been avoiding. The question makes him think of things he doesn't want to think about. 

 

**_> >What do you think of soulmates? I haven't found mine yet and I'm not sure if that's bad or not _ **

 

Hanamaki takes a deep breath as he stares at the question. “Well,” he starts, “I don't believe in soulmates.”

 

He then furrows his eyebrows, and shakes his head. “I mean, obviously they exist. Iwaizumi and Matsukawa are soulmates, and so are Yachi and Kiyoko from next door. Lots of people are, but what I meant to say is I don't believe that  _ every  _ person has one. And you don't need one, either. You don't need another person to be happy--” he mentally cringes, knowing he should take his own words to heart, “--and you don't need to love your so called soulmate, either. Your soulmate could just be your best friend, ya’know? And, well, it's okay to fall for someone who isn't your soulmate.” He pauses again, a mental image of Iwaizumi coming to mind. 

 

He sighs. 

 

“But, say I do find my soulmate somehow. Then, yay! I'll get to know them, and maybe I'll fall for them. Who knows? Maybe I won't and we’ll just be friends. And that's okay.” He finishes his small speech, hoping that it made sense. The chat room is blowing up, so he can only assume he said something right. 

 

“So,” he clears his throat, “any more questions?” 

 

He scans the chat, and decides to end the live stream by filling in the request of playing them all a song on his piano. 

 

* * *

 

“Hana,” Matsukawa says, smiling. Hanamaki really wants to hate him, but Matsukawa is honestly such a nice guy and it's  _ not fair.  _

 

“Matsu,” he replies, a grin on his face. 

 

“I'm going to beat your ass in this game.” 

 

Hanamaki scoffs, pulling the controller closer to him. His subscribers had asked him to make more videos of him playing video games, because it's somehow entertaining. He's also a weak man who likes to listen to what the people say, so here he is. 

 

“You're just a kinky fucker, aren't you?” he shoots back, promptly shooting Matsukawa’s character. He then shoots him again and easily wins. He turns, a smirk on his face. 

 

“You were saying?” 

 

Matsukawa groans, dropping the controller. He then shoots a dirty look towards Hanamaki, offended that he hasn't won a single game this whole video. 

 

“I hate you,” he says, and Hanamaki can tell he's joking. They're friends. They get along. Hanamaki swears he likes him, at least he's trying to. For Iwaizumi. 

 

“And I hate you,” he replies smoothly, and he's sad to find that there's a little bit of truth to the words.

 

* * *

 

“I need more friends,” Hanamaki sighs. Pumpkin looks up from where she's grooming herself, tilts her head, then goes back to her bath. “Iwaizumi and Matsukawa are basically my only friends. I could visit Kiyoko and do a collab with her or just hang out with her, but I don't want to bother her. I'm pretty sure her anniversary with Yachi is coming up soon, and I don't want to stress her out more.” He pauses, watching as Pumpkin stretches out and rolls onto her back. “Maybe Yahaba? I don't know, though, Kyoutani scares me sometimes.” 

 

He sighs heavily again, rolling across his bed. He pulls Pumpkin close, earning a hiss of disapproval, but hugs her to his chest anyway. “You're my only true friend, huh?” he coos, only to receive an annoyed look. 

 

“Okay,” he says, opening his arms so she can scamper away. “You've convinced me, I'll go make more friends.”

 

The only way that he can think of going about this, however, is to stroll to his laptop and pull up Twitter. He types up a message, informing the people following him that he’ll be at the Starbucks down the road from eleven to one tomorrow if they want to come say hi. He’s honestly surprised at the positive feedback, many people swearing they’ll show up. 

 

He’s kind of worried that he might run into some crazy people, but whatever. This will work. Hopefully. 

  
  


Hanamaki lazily scrolls through his phone, sipping at his mocha. He’s only been here thirty minutes and he's had to talk to about fifteen people. He didn't know so many of his subscribers lived in Japan. 

 

As he posts a picture of Pumpkin onto his Instagram, he hears someone screaming in the distance. Many heads look up towards the tall brunette sprinting towards the Starbucks. Hanamaki can't tell what he’s saying but--

 

“ _ HANAMAKI-SAAAAAAANNNNNNN!”  _

 

Hanamaki goes pale, awkwardly looking around. There must be another Hanamaki around, right? This...weirdo isn't really looking for him, right?

 

The brunette comes to a halt in front of him, and Hanamaki instantly feels a sense of dread. Well, oh well. He knew he could possibly run into some crazy people. 

 

“Hanamaki-san,” the man wheezes, hands on knees. “Sorry, I was,” he pauses to breathe deeply, “I was excited. Anyways,” he moves to sit down across from him, instantly perking up and sitting up straight in his seat. “I'm Oikawa Tooru.” 

 

Hanamaki frowns, because that name sounds familiar. He’s not sure where he's heard it before, but…

 

“I'm a YouTuber like yourself!” he exclaims, smiling sweet and innocent. Hanamaki can see right through him, though. He has a motive and Hanamaki is slightly scared. 

 

“I play the guitar and do covers-- I mean, that's not  _ all  _ I do, but, that's not important right now...so! Your piano playing is some of the best I've come across!” He pauses, looking at Hanamaki. 

 

“Oh, uh. Thanks.” 

 

“No problem! So, I was wondering if you would want to do a collab together?” he proposes, and Hanamaki can't help but smile. He knew he had something sneaky like that. 

 

Hanamaki starts to reply, but gets cut off as Oikawa quickly changes everything about himself. He perks up even more, a fake smile plastered to his face. He throws his hand out, fingers in the shape of a peace sign as he winks. Hanamaki slowly looks to where Oikawa is looking, only to find a group of girls talking excitedly as they take photos of Oikawa. 

 

When they leave, Hanamaki can't help but smirk. “Quite the ladies man, huh?” 

 

“Yeah, but too bad I'm gay as fuck.” 

 

Hanamaki blinks. Oikawa goes pale. 

 

“I'm-- that just came out! I know you're...gay? Pan? Bi? Whatever! I know you were dating Iwa-chan before you--” he goes even more pale, slapping a hand over his mouth. “Oh no,” he whispers, “I gave up how I know you.”

 

“Pansexual,” Hanamaki answers, taking a deep breath. Now he remembers the name. “You're Matsukawa’s friend, right?” 

 

“So you remember!”

 

“Sadly.”

 

Oikawa scowls, placing a hand to his chest. “I am offended, Makki-san.”

 

“Don't call me that.”

 

“Okay, Makki.”

 

“I didn't mean--”

 

“So are we doing the collab?”

 

Hanamaki frowns, looking around. Apparently his fans are also Oikawa’s fans, and he can tell they’re all growing excited to see the two of them together. He can tell the guy by the counter is taking a photo of the two of them.

 

Slowly turning back to Oikawa, he narrows his eyes. “Fine.”

 

Oikawa’s face splits into a wide grin, and he squeals. He jumps out of his chair, grabbing both of Hanamaki’s hands with his own. He opens his mouth to babble out some nonsense, but freezes. Hanamaki looks at him confusion, but Oikawa isn't looking at him, no, he's looking at where their hands are touching. 

 

Ever so slowly, Hanamaki looks down. Where their hands are connect, there’s a rainbow of colors staining their fingers and hands. The longer they touch, the farther the color spreads. By the time Hanamaki feels his cheeks heat up, yanking his hands back, the color has traveled down his wrists. 

 

With wide eyes, they stare at each other. Oikawa is the first to compose himself, an awkward yet shy smile playing on his lips. “I look forward to doing a collab with you,  _ soulmate~.”  _

 

Hanamaki’s jaw drops, and he knows there’s some fans who just saw this whole thing go down. Oikawa smiles with a bit more confidence, placing a slip of paper in front of Hanamaki. He then winks, turns around, and skips away. 

 

Hanamaki picks up the paper, only to find Oikawa’s number on it. He looks to where Oikawa is walking away and he feels the blush on his cheeks darken. 

 

“You...too,” he mumbles, stuffing the paper into his pocket. 

 

* * *

 

Hanamaki stares at Pumpkin. “This is your fault.” She mews, raking her claws down the scratching post. “I was perfectly fine never meeting my soulmate, and then you made me go out and attempt to meet people.” Pumpkin flicks her tail to show she's listening, but doesn't reply as she continues her scratching. 

 

“Pumpkin you need to take responsibility for this.” 

 

She lifts her ginger head and blinks slowly at him. She then meows once, and walks out of the room. 

 

* * *

 

 

“Makki-chan!” Oikawa exclaims as he steps into the apartment, Matsukawa and Iwaizumi behind him. He glares at Matsukawa, motioning to Oikawa. He only smiles in apology, not the least bit sorry for not introducing them beforehand.

 

“Why did you bring the whole squad?” Hanamaki asks, lifting Pumpkin into his arms. Oikawa gasps as he sees the cat, and shuffles forward to gently pet her. 

 

“I finally meet the infamous Pumpkin!” 

 

“Don't ignore my question.” 

 

“Oh, they wanted to see how well we work together!” 

 

“We’ve never worked together before, though.” 

 

“Then I guess we’ll all see how this works out.”

 

Hanamaki rolls his eyes, but leads them into the apartment anyway. Matsukawa and Iwaizumi have been here plenty of times, but Oikawa hasn't. He motions to the couch, and right as Oikawa plops down, Hanamaki disposes of Pumpkin. She lands on Oikawa’s lap with a startled mew, whipping her head around to glare at Hanamaki. 

 

When he turns around with a chuckle, he sees that Iwaizumi and Matsukawa have helped themselves to the kitchen. He decides to settle down beside Oikawa, their arms brushing against each other’s. He jumps as he sees the color splash over their skin, and he quickly shuffles away. 

 

Oikawa frowns. 

 

“Are you okay?” 

 

Hanamaki sighs, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck. He watches as Oikawa pets Pumpkin, scratching behind her ears. He then tears his gaze away, staring at the kitchen. 

 

“I...don't...uh, we haven't talked...did you tell Iwaizumi and Matsukawa?”

 

Oikawa runs his fingers through the soft fur, tilting his head to the side. “No…I thought I'd let them figure it out. Are you…” He hesitates, nervously biting his lip. “Are you upset that it was me?” 

 

Hanamaki flinches, his eyes landing on Iwaizumi. He’s talking to Matsukawa, a smile on his face as he goes to grab a cup. The sting he feels isn’t as bad as it used to be, but it’s still there.

 

“Not really, no. I'm glad that it’s someone who understands me.”

 

Oikawa blinks. “Wha--”

 

“Matsukawa, right? And then all your hopes for the future bled into nothing when he found Iwaizumi.”

 

Oikawa looks down. 

 

“It's the same for me, as you know. Since I was with Iwaizumi before he met Matsukawa.”

 

Hanamaki looks at Oikawa, and sighs. The look on his face shows that he’s correct. He reaches over, gently grabbing one of Oikawa’s hands. Purple instantly stains the skin there, but he doesn't run away this time. Instead, he scoots closer and leans his head down so he can make eye contact with Oikawa. 

 

“As long as we both know where we come from, then this could work.”

 

Oikawa offers up a wobbly smile, and nods. “Okay--”

 

“What?” Matsukawa says in shock, the glass cup sliding out of his hands and smashing against the floor. The two on the couch jump away from each other, embarrassment clear to see. 

 

Iwaizumi’s eyes glue to the purple color on their skin. He looks from Oikawa, to Hanamaki, then back and so forth. “You...guys are…?”

 

Hanamaki nods, offering up a strained smile. “Surprise.” 

 

* * *

 

Oikawa whines, stretching out on Hanamaki’s bed. Pumpkin looks up from her spot on Hanamaki’s desk with interest, but then lays her head back down to watch her owner type. Said owner stops and turns around, raising an eyebrow at the man on his bed. 

 

“Problems?”

 

“Many,” he mumbles, voice muffled from the pillows. 

 

“Care to elaborate?”

 

Oikawa hums, lifting his head so he can look at Hanamaki. The gaze is very intense, and Hanamaki  _ really  _ wants to look away. But he keeps eye contact and raises an eyebrow. 

 

“I...like you,” Oikawa says slowly. 

 

“We are friends.”

 

“No,” he says, sitting up and frowning. “I  _ like  _ you. As in, we’re literally soulmates and I want to be with you. But, well, I also like Mattsun.” Oikawa hesitates, searching Hanamaki’s face for any signs for him to stop talking. When he finds none, he barrels on. “I like Iwa-chan, too. Even if they're not my soulmates….I say...I say fuck fate. I like them, and I like you, and I want to be with  _ all  _ of you.” 

 

Hanamaki awkwardly looks away, clearing his throat. He pats Pumpkin’s head, humming under his breath. “Same” is his only reply as he fully turns back to his computer, and continues to type away. 

 

“Huh- what?!” Oikawa shrieks, launching himself off the bed. He grabs the back of Hanamaki’s shirt, yanking him backwards. Hanamaki yelps in surprise as he falls backwards, the spinny chair falling with him. Oikawa catches him, though, holding him as if he had just dipped him in some dance number. 

 

“Are you lying to me?” 

 

Hanamaki blinks, then laughs. “Why would I lie about something like that? You know I never stopped loving Iwaizumi, and Matsukawa, the bastard, has wormed his way in. And now your stubborn ass--” 

 

He never gets to finish, however, as Oikawa grins and swoops down, crushing their lips together. 

 

* * *

 

Hanamaki smiles as he checks the comments on his and Oikawa’s collab. He had played the piano while Oikawa played his guitar, and together they had sang a duet. That was for his channel, though. They decided to do one of the boyfriend challenges to come out to their subscribers, and he ended up doing Oikawa’s makeup challenge. 

 

Hanamaki, who has only touched makeup twice in his lifetime, surprisingly did quite good. Oikawa was surprised, too. He even said he'd go out looking like that and Hanamaki felt very proud. 

 

His subscribers were very supportive. He did get a couple rude messages, but it didn't phase him at all. Why get upset over one or two people sending hate when there's ten people sending support for every one person sending hate? 

 

Moving from YouTube to Twitter, he sees a photo of Matsukawa and Iwaizumi. The sting is  _ still  _ there and  _ very _ obvious, but ever since that conversion with Oikawa...he feels better. 

 

_ A lot  _ better, actually. He doesn't stay inside as much anymore, he’s gone back to posting biweekly. He answered questions he received on his Tumblr again, and went back to spamming pictures of Pumpkin on his Instagram. 

 

It’s normal, comfortable. But even so, he still can't ignore the fact that there's two things in his life that he has to live without. It sucks, though, because he has to live without it anyways. He doesn't get a choice in the matter. 

 

* * *

 

“Makki, are you okay?” 

 

Hanamaki looks up from where he is on Oikawa’s couch, and tilts his head to the side. “Why do you ask, Iwaizumi?”

 

“You don't seem okay.”

 

Hanamaki hums, pulling at a loose thread on his jacket. “I've been through a lot these past months,” he explains casually, not elaborating. Iwaizumi knows. 

 

“But...you're okay now? Better?” 

 

Hanamaki tears the stray piece of fabric off, turning his gaze to Iwaizumi. Matsukawa and Oikawa, whatever they're doing in the kitchen, need to hurry up before he says something stupid. 

 

Ah, screw it. 

 

“Better, yeah. But my feelings for you haven't changed at all.”

 

Iwaizumi’s eyes grow a fraction in size, and he nervously looks away. “You're with Oikawa now, though.”

 

“Mm, yeah. That's because I  _ do  _ like him.”

 

Iwaizumi looks up in confusion, and Hanamaki can tell he wants to ask. So he answers the silent question. 

 

“I like you, and I like him, and I like Mattsun. It's simple, really, nothing  _ too  _ hard to understand. All my feelings are equal and there's nothing that can be done to change it.” 

 

Iwaizumi opens his mouth, then closes it, then opens it, then closes it and so on. He stutters out some weird noise, but then goes silent. Hanamaki casually goes back to scrolling on his phone, waiting for Iwaizumi to form his thoughts. 

 

“Does Oikawa know?”

 

Hanamaki laughs. “Of course.” 

 

Iwaizumi goes back to being silent, awkwardly playing his with fingers. It's somewhat cute, and Hanamaki isn't afraid to think so. The truth is out, so might as well think whatever the heck he wants. No one can stop him. 

 

“...Hana--” 

 

“Sorry it took so long!” Oikawa says as he stumbles back into the room, a tray of food in his hands. Matsukawa trails after him, balancing four cups in his hands. He sets them down quickly before he can drop them, and plops down beside Hanamaki. 

 

“...later?” Iwaizumi says, gaining confused looks from both Oikawa and Matsukawa. Hanamaki simply smiles, attention fully on his phone. 

 

“Sure.” 

 

* * *

 

Later, of course, means  _ much  _ later. Another week passes by in a blur, and Hanamaki goes about his life like normal. Or, well, as normal as it can be with Oikawa showing up at random times, dragging Iwaizumi and Matsukawa along. Iwaizumi and him haven't gotten to be alone since that conversation, and Hanamaki is just a  _ little _ happy about that. He doesn't have to explain himself. Everything is...normal.

 

Until he walks into his apartment one day after doing a collab at Oikawa’s place. He opens the door, waiting for the ginger ball of fluff to come running up to him. When that doesn't happen, he frowns and ventures in further, looking around for the cat. 

 

“Pumpkin?” he calls, looking around. He then freezes as he reaches the door to the balcony. It’s open slightly, just enough for her to get outside. But he...he never leaves it open for this reason. But…

 

Iwaizumi and Matsukawa went out there before he left for Oikawa’s. They were over- they left it open- 

 

He throws the balcony door open and stumbles to the edge of the balcony, looking down. She could've climbed down to the road...she’s probably lost and scared. 

 

Hanamaki races out of the apartment, heart beating rapidly as he dashes down the stairs. He’s out of the building and into the street within minutes, but he’s too late. 

 

The ball of ginger fluff lying motionless in the middle of the road, obviously run over by some car, sends Hanamaki falling to his knees, tears dripping down his face. 

 

* * *

 

“M-Makki,” Matsukawa says, carefully settling down beside beside him. Hanamaki looks away, narrowing his eyes as he stares at the wall. Matsukawa says something else, but Makki ignores him and continues to stare at nothing. 

 

Iwaizumi comes into view, grabbing his face and forcing him to look at him. He frowns, glancing at Matsukawa before looking back at Hanamaki. “I'm sorry we left the door open.”

 

“A little too late for that, huh?” Hanamaki hisses, jerking back. He stands up quickly, shaking his head and moving to sit on the floor. He doesn't want them here. He wants to sit here and cry and gather up all of Pumpkin’s stuff and he just- 

 

“Hanamaki,” Oikawa says gently, sitting down next to him. “We’re all sorry for your loss, but you can't be like this. You need to let us help you.” 

 

Hanamaki scowls. “You can't, okay? I...Pumpkin…” He trails off, angrily grinding his teeth together. He then collapses backwards, looking up at the ceiling. 

 

“I'll be fine,” he whispers. 

 

Oikawa frowns, and sadly runs a hand through his hair, staining the skin there blue. “We’ll be here for you.”

 

* * *

 

When he posts about Pumpkin, he’s shocked by all the messages he receives. Everyone really seemed to love her and they seem upset about it as well. He’s glad she got the love she deserved. 

 

Turning around to doodle, he furrows his eyebrows as he carefully sketches out Pumpkin. He’s going to make this tribute as perfect as he can, because she deserves it. She was his best friend and had brought him comfort when no one else was around. She honestly deserves better, but this is the best he can do. 

 

“Hanamaki.”

 

He nearly jumps out of his skin, turning around. He raises an eyebrow at Iwaizumi, setting his pencil down.

 

“We need to talk.”

 

Hanamaki bites his lip, looking down at his sketch. Knowing that there’s nothing he can say to get out of this, he nods and pushes the sketch away. “Okay,” he says, “go ahead.”

 

* * *

 

Two weeks later, and everything seems to have changed. Oikawa has moved in, but not only him. Matsukawa and Iwaizumi threw themselves into the apartment as well, and it’s strange having the apartment so full. 

 

Not that he minds, of course. 

 

He carefully pulls up his Instagram, staring at the photo he’s about to post. It may cause an uproar, and it could turn out to be good or bad. No matter what, though, he knows it’ll be okay now. 

 

Posting the photo, he tags the other three, and quickly shuts off his phone. A grumble has him looking up, and he sees Matsukawa squinting at his phone, hair a mess. “If you were going to post a photo of us, couldn’t you have at least made it flattering? Now the whole world knows I drool.”

 

Hanamaki chuckles, smiling innocently. “And now they know Tooru has the worst bedhead ever.”

 

“Yeah, and that Hajime is fucking adorable. It’s unfair, really.”

 

Hanamaki laughs again, pulling up his sketch book. The drawing of Pumpkin was finished a couple minutes ago, right before he had posted the photo of his three boyfriends sleeping. He studies it for a moment before looking back up at Matsukawa, a silly smile plastered to his face. 

 

He can’t help but think, as Oikawa whines and enters the living room with Iwaizumi next to him, that fate doesn’t mean anything. Fate and soulmates and everything can leave him alone, because he’s happy. Fate can go die.

  
Or, as Oikawa would simply say, “fuck fate.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Tumblr: Seijouho


End file.
